So, I’m not very good at this surrendering thing. That isn’t breaking news to me as I’ve known this for a long time. I think it is a pretty common thing for us mere mortal types but I think the sum of my personality plus some history has made my independence a little more entrenched. I too often delight in my individual accomplishments and I have a real difficult time asking for help.

I don’t have a difficult time devoting myself to God but I do so in my own strength. I have difficulty steering my will and surrendering it at the same time. I’m really disciplined in the former but very undisciplined in the latter.

I need to do better in this area because I’m running into walls and stubbornly kicking at the bottom bricks and scratching at the mortar with my fingernails. The result: broken toes and raw and bleeding fingertips. OK, more like a 10 pound weight gain. I do love a hyperbole on occasion.

This morning I was faced with the reality that I had gained 10 pounds of my 30 pound weight loss back. I’m so mad I could spit in my own eye. But, of course, as Oprah will tell you, it is just a symptom of a much larger problem.

Little Ms. Fiercely Independent lost 30 pounds through determination and hard work. But, Ms. Fierce cant keep it off in her own strength because of the sinful tendencies she can’t fight off on her own. So, I need to learn how to surrender consistently. I am positive that there are other areas of my life that could use a daily acquiescence as well.

So, here is what I am going to try. A memorized verse a week about surrendering that I am going to mantra the heck out of to remind me to surrender daily. There are plenty of verses on the subject, so I’m not going to get bored. I’ve also set my pedometer alarm to buzz throughout the day to remind me to pray for the ability to surrender. Let’s see if this works. Ask me about how it is going.

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